Rise Women Rise: Tiffany

Guest Story by Tiffany

My deep brown skinned daughter doesn’t know anything else but she is beautiful. I just don’t understand this concept I’m glad this movie was made because it will give me lots of insight on this type of thinking so that my own baby never ever thinks or feels like this.

Maybe its my not understanding that makes me feel like its just as simple as people just don’t want to be black. I really don’t know or have the same experiences as a brown skinned person I guess. My daughter has brown skin and she is gorgeous absolutely beautiful and if she was lighter skinned she still be just as beautiful as she is with brown skin. if we wanna talk about this type of complex with darker skinned women we should broaden the scope because within each race there are darker skinned people. In the hispanic culture there are darker skinned hispanics, Dominicans, Cubans, Mexicans, Italians, American, Indian- I mean every group of people all comes in all different shades and I think it’s really only our race that has such an issue with dark there are a lot of people that really just don’t want to embrace black or any type of ethnicity. I am happy that Bill Duke did address this. It will give me a better outlet to address this issue with my 10 year old daughter because what I don’t want is for her to grow up and feel like she’s not as pretty or she’s not pretty because her skin is brown because that’s 1 of the most beautiful features about her I don’t want her to hate and not embrace that because it opens up a lot of doors for self hatred that I don’t want to open she is beautiful dark brown skin and all deep brown eyes high beautiful cheek bones and the thing I’m most proud of is how smart she is.

We should all just STOP this BULLSHIT and get down to the real issue. It’s about being black period! The real issue is people don’t want to be black anyway so then they begin feeling like I’m already black but do I have to be dark skinned to? Why can’t I be light? When really the true question is why can’t I be white because I’m lighter skinned but the fact is I AM STILL A BLACK WOMAN, LIGHT SKIN, LIGHT EYES, SANDY BLONDE HAIR, AND ALL! I STILL EXPERIENCE PREJUDICE I STILL HAVE TO PROVE MYSELF DIFFERENT BEFORE I PROVE MYSELF QUALIFIED FOR ANY OPPORTUNITY.

There is nothing better for me being lighter complected than there is for any other black person. If a man views me as more beautiful isn’t that the flaw of the man? His flawed thinking in no way makes it truth. I still get loved, hated, cheated on, cherished in the same manner with the same statistical numbers as any browner skinned woman. I’m black which makes me a dark girl somewhere if not everywhere except within my own community. It’s as equal opportunity as any form of prejudice. I get treated funny by African Americans because I’m light whites because I’m black and its the same for “Dark” girls so these feelings are misguided. We are black and what shade of it we are is a minuscule detail.

Imagine if Naomi Campbell felt the same, where the hell would she be because her dark skin is not beautiful right? WE are not raising our daughters to embrace their shades whether it be the darkest to the lightest of brown no escaping it people we are black and beautiful as soon as we all come to terms with this fact we will then be able to get over it ur not white no matter how long and blonde ur weaves or how light your skin! Problem is we let society define what is beautiful and we run with their definition internalize it and scar ourselves our children and our childrens children. Become an individual stop dancing to someone else’s fucked up beat. This is ur song on your album and you and only you can make it multiplatinum because if u don’t believe in u no one will. When u look in the mirror if you don’t see beauty neither will the rest of the world so let’s take some responsibility and this is what I will tell my daughter when the time for this conversion is right.

The Dark Girls Movie- Rise  Women Rise Campaign seeks to share their stories of healing, empowerment, and triumph. We know this issue goes beyond the United States and Black people. This is for ALL women from around the world. If you have a written story or video, please submit here.

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4 Responses to Rise Women Rise: Tiffany

  1. Danette Chavis says:

    I read the guest story RISE WOMEN RISE by Tiffany and was moved to tears because of the truth and power of the words she had written. Words that few would even dare to speak or even say and not from one point of view but indeed “several”. All that is written, ought seriously be taken into account as to why we treat each other the way we do in the hopes that we all recognize we are indeed “one and the same”. Truthfully told, eloquently written and desperately needed to be said.

  2. Plumpdn says:

    Dear Tiffany,

    I am sure you were made fun of for being light bright and that is a symptom of many bad things.. But it has been shown that you probably received preferential treatment for your skin and hair…were you to be in front of a judge, you would statistically receive a shorter sentence than I would for the same crime; statistically, were we to share the same mother, she would play with you more than she did with me; you will be broken up with and cheated on more than I will because you will probably have more committed relationships than I will; would would be paid more than I am paid for the same job (both less than whites and black men, of course). It doesn’t mean that any of this is your fault, but you cannot just tell me that we’re all black so let’s sing kumbayah. My color translates statistically to social and economic deprivation. That deserves some recognition on your part or you will not understand your daughter’s experieces as she grows up.

    • Lena says:

      Plumpdn, that was well written and the absolute truth. I hope this movie helps all of the Tiffany’s out there SEE and UNDERSTAND a different perspective for their loved one’s sake. It’s great that we tell our daughters that they are beautiful and to love themselves, but when everything else around you tells you differently as you grow, you unconsciously start to believe what you see.

  3. Tiffany says:

    Its sad you take people being assholes and internalize it as its because your darkskinned maybe just maybe its because they are an asshole i have a darkskinned and a lightskinned child and I play with them and tell them their beautiful all the time and no, no one has ever called me light bright lol I guess i was lucky to not have growm up around a bunch of ignorant people and my 9 brothers and sister are all shades of the spectrum and no my mom did not just play with me more lol that is sad if that happened to you but believe me it wasnt because you are dark its because the mother your talking about has serious problems. TRUST me when i tell you my daughter will never have these feeling she already thinks its absurd she knows shes beautiful she loves to tan and be on the beach she knows shes gorgeous and it comes from home if your mom or the person rising you doesnt instill self confidence and knowlege of self in you then thats when you start self hating and trying to blame it on the fact that you are dark how many beautiful dark women in this world never had these feelings and its because they are confident in their beauty and dont look for the world or society to validate their beauty. Fortunatly I have been lucky enough to grow up with some strong beautiful black women thats where it comes from if you grow up around self hating or disfunctional people then your more susceptable to all types of abuse not because of your skin color but because of the circumstances that you where born into both of which you have no controll over. As far as unconsciously starting to believe what you see its a good thing is all she sees is beautiful strong black women both light and dark. What you just described is ignorance not color discrimination. 1 more thing the justice system has way more biases than skin color really its based on several factors like race first no matter what shade, then background (family background how you grew up), then class (income class), then past criminal history, and attitude about the crime so that is just Bullshit its a smoke screen givin i come from the same background and have all the same factors as a darker skinned person and we are in the sme state in front of the same judge trust me we are doing the same time. THINKING LIKE THIS WILL IMPRISION YOUR MIND AND THEN ITS YOU AND ONLY YOU THAT ARE HOLDING YOURSELF BACK. ELEVATE YOUR MIND!

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